Unintended Immortality

In the afternoon, Song You was washing clothes in the inn's backyard, where a small amount of foam was lathered in the wooden basin.

The calico cat sat in front of him, observing attentively. Glancing behind to ensure no one was around, the cat whispered, “You don’t need to buy me meat these days. There are mice here; I’ll catch them at night and eat them.”

Without looking up, Song You continued washing and asked, “Do you like to eat mice or fish better?”

“Fish are in the water, so I can’t catch them.”

“Then what about mice compared to bought meat?”

“Bought meat costs money.”

“Which one tastes better?”

“I don’t know.” The cat raised and licked its paw as it said, “But it doesn’t matter if I don’t eat other meat, I need to eat mice and will crave for it if I don’t. Bought meat costs money, so we should save where we can.”

“…” Song You found this amusing. For the cat, it seemed that mice were a staple food—even if it wasn’t the best, it was necessary.

The calico cat kept her eyes fixed on him. Seeing that he had finished washing his long robe and started on her smaller clothes, she blinked and stared at him as she quietly said, “If only the swallow were here, he would have found a place to shelter from the rain before it even started. We wouldn’t have gotten wet.”

“It’s alright.”

“We need to wash clothes.”

“That’s what we’re doing.”

“…” The calico cat fell silent, changed her posture with a yawn, and continued watching him.

“You resemble a supervisor.”

“I don’t know what a supervisor is.”

“Then you’re not very smart.”

“...?” The cat was stunned.

“I’m going out this afternoon. You look tired. Do you want to take a nap in the room? It would be easier for you to catch mice at night.”

“Where are you going?”

“To visit the teahouse and buy some things.”

“I will go with you.”

“Sure.”

Song You fell silent and remained focused on washing the clothes, and before long, the weather had warmed up. In the peak of the afternoon sun, people in the streets were wearing short sleeves. Song You decided to buy some oiled paper to wrap his thick autumn and winter clothes once they were washed and dried before placing them at the bottom of the saddle bag. �

He also intended to go elsewhere to inquire more about Lord Li again, to gather more information. He would buy a small fish as well. Regardless of how much money he had, there would always be enough for Lady Calico to enjoy fish and meat as long as there was a place to buy fish and meat.

The spring water was no longer icy, and the hemp ropes were gradually being filled with clothes.

***

That evening, in the western part of the city…

Lord Li had just finished dinner and was in a particularly pleasant mood. As he left his house to seek some entertainment, he saw a familiar face across the street the moment he took a step.

He didn’t know this person well and had only seen this person once. He had seen this person this very morning.

The Daoist priest was still in the same robes and still had a calico cat following him by his hand. He stood across the street with the calico cat while staring at him with an unreadable expression.

“...?” Lord Li suddenly felt uneasy. If it were an ordinary Daoist priest or an old beggar staring at him like that, he would have thought they were just hoping to get some money. They would have opened their mouths and said some vague blessing.

But he had just had an unpleasant encounter with this Daoist priest earlier that morning, and now the Daoist priest specifically came looking for him. It was hard to see this as a good thing.

No, how did he find me? Could it be a coincidence? But the Daoist priest’s expression clearly showed that he was waiting deliberately here for me.

Lord Li, uncertain about the situation, was nervous and irritated. Yet, he tried to appear fierce as he walked over in big strides.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here specifically to wait for you, sir.”

“Wait for me for what?” Lord Li glared at him. “This morning, I was kind to you and let you go. You dare to come find me again? Don’t you fear getting beaten up by me? Or do you think I’m gullible?”

“You misunderstand, sir.” Song You smiled and cupped his hands in a gesture of respect. “This morning, I saw that you were surrounded by demonic aura and had poor fortune. You might have been consorting with evil creatures and malevolent beings and committing many wicked acts. If this continues, there will be no turning back. I’m here to save you.”

“What nonsense are you talking about? Evil creatures?”

“You know in your heart.”

Lord Li looked Song You up and down. “Hey! You’re a Daoist priest wandering around brothels! Yet, you’re acting as if you’re a master. Are you trying to scam money from me? Have you looked into who I am? If you think you can fool an official with some hearsay, you'd better reconsider. If you don't back off, you're in for a beating!”

“You should mind your words, sir.”

“The same goes to you! You’re a Daoist priest playing around with nuns, yet you’re pretending to be a recluse master here?”

“There are many who can speak, but few who know when to remain silent. This is a true form of self-cultivation,” Song You said. “If you can’t keep your mouth shut, I’m happy to assist.”

“I—!” Lord Li’s eyes widened, and he stammered, suddenly unable to speak.

It wasn’t that he couldn’t speak… He couldn’t even open his mouth!

The two lips were pressed so tightly together, and it felt as though they no longer belonged to him. No matter how hard he tried to open his mouth, it wouldn't budge at all—he couldn't muster any strength, and it simply wouldn't listen to him.

“Mm…” Lord Li mumbled incessantly.

The calico cat tilted her head and stared at him, and Lord Li's expression grew increasingly terrified. He couldn’t utter a single word, only able to listen as the Daoist priest said, “Rest assured, sir. If I wanted to harm your life, it would be easy for me to do so. However, rather than taking your life, I would prefer that you repent and turn to righteousness.

“I’m staying at the Jingfu Inn, in Room 2 on the left side of the second floor. This spell will lift for around 15 minutes each midnight and noon, after which it will return. After you’ve thought it over, you may come find me. When you do, bring a bowl of mild wine and three qian of silver.”

With that, the Daoist priest walked away, followed by the calico cat.

“Mm, mm, mm…” Lord Li’s eyes were wide with astonishment. No matter how much he mumbled, the Daoist priest didn’t look back, although the cat frequently glanced at him with curiosity. Meanwhile, the roadside passersby looked at him in surprise.

It wasn’t merely that he couldn’t speak; he couldn’t open his mouth at all, making eating and drinking impossible.

Lord Li’s eyes darted around. He turned and went back home, secretly watching to ensure the Daoist priest was gone. After waiting a while, he hurried out of the city.

He was smart, taking many roundabout routes, frequently stopping to check if anyone was following him. Once he was sure he was alone, he made his way to a secluded spot on the eastern side of the city.

This was where he worshiped the Clever Immortal.

He stayed there until midnight. His mouth finally returned to normal, functioning as it should.

Lord Li immediately lit incense, knelt down, and repeatedly bowed before the statue of the Clever Immortal. He recounted his experiences of the day in detail, including the Taoist’s accusation that the Clever Immortal was a demon, and requested that the Clever Immortal lift the Daoist priest’s spell.

These rascals were indeed troublesome, but they held true reverence for the Clever Immortal, believing in the Clever Immortal's powers and consistently offering sincere prayers and incense.

The Clever Immortal was usually quite effective most of the time. Lord Li felt that with the Clever Immortal’s power, lifting this spell should be a simple matter. After all, it was just a minor Daoist priest.

After finishing his recount, he waited for a while, only to see the incense smoke curling as usual and drifting toward the statue of the Clever Immortal. But, he received no response from the Clever Immortal.

He dared not make a sound and quietly waited until the three sticks of incense burned out.

Suddenly, the statue in front of him seemed to come to life, becoming more vivid, its gaze intense as it seemed to emit a voice. "Where does he live?"

The voice was ethereal and carried a sense of authority.

Lord Li quickly lowered his head. “He said he stays at Jingfu Inn, Room 2 on the left side of the second floor…”

“What does he look like?”

“He is young and handsome, about my height. He’s thin, appearing to be in his twenties.” Lord Li kept his head bowed deeply, not daring to look up. “Great Immortal, are you going to…”

“He’s a mere little Daoist priest, who learned some tricks to deceive people. Yet, he dares to be arrogant and insult me. I will certainly meet him.”

“My mouth…”

“It's a trivial matter, no need to rush.”

“Understood.”

The statue returned to its previous state.

Lord Li remained in place, expecting the Clever Immortal’s “trivial matter“ to mean that the spell would soon be lifted. However, as he waited and tried to speak again, he found his mouth had tightened shut once more.

“..?” Lord Li was stunned, unable to believe that the Immortal hadn’t lifted the spell for him. Could it be that the Clever Immortal had forgotten?

Or was he being punished because the Clever Immortal was unsatisfied with his performance?

Regardless, had he known, he would have had a drink of water beforehand. Now, he felt unbearably thirsty.

***

At the fourth watch of the night, the outside was pitch black.

In a big city like Yidu, there might still be drunkards stumbling down the streets or shop signs outside who haven't yet extinguished their candles. But in this small town, it was utterly quiet and dark.

Yet, this was only true for humans. For cats, such a night was still filled with sights, and there were many sounds even during the night.

Especially for the calico cat.

The sounds include the breathing and snoring of guests in the neighboring rooms, the breeze rustling through the eaves, the sound of clothes fluttering on the drying lines, and the faint noises coming from the mouse holes at the base of the walls downstairs.

“Hmm?” Something seemed off.

The calico cat ran a couple of steps on the bed, leapt nimbly and silently onto the windowsill, and pressed against the window before looking down.

She saw a small and short figure walking along the street.

The figure was less than half a person’s height, dressed in human clothing. The figure was plump, walking close to the wall, and swaying as it moved. It also occasionally stopped to look around.

“...?” The seller of incense from the mountain?

No! But it was similar to that seller!

The calico cat remained silent, peeking out further from the window, observing closely and quietly.

The small figure walked to and stopped at the inn’s door, then looked up at the building. Of course, since the calico cat had once been revered for catching mice, she could never be spotted by a mouse.

There was a faint movement below—the small figure was coming upstairs.

Instinctively, the calico cat hid in a corner of the room, curling up to conceal herself and leaving only her eyes visible as she watched the window.