I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

Pedestrian ⅠI

The subjugation was not a choice but a necessity.

If this situation was left unattended, tunnels worldwide would sequentially become infected by the ‘Inunaki Tunnel.’

The awakeners of Korea and Japan agreed to unite their forces. Even in this apocalyptic era, where distribution networks had collapsed, losing the tunnel routes altogether was unacceptable.

But what kind of people are the nations of East Asia?

“Now that an undersea tunnel has appeared off the coast of Busan, let's just do the subjugation in Busan…?”

“Nyaang. I appreciate the suggestion, but cleaning up one's own mess is the proper attitude of an adult. Our Magical Girl Association will take the lead in the Inunaki subjugation, nya!”

When three East Asian countries hold a meeting, Koreans call it ‘Korea-China-Japan,’ Chinese call it ‘China-Korea-Japan,’ and Japanese call it ‘Japan-China-Korea.’ Such is the etiquette of East Asia.

Questions about whether nations have long since fallen are meaningless. People always come first, and nations follow.

Even though the nations had already fallen, or perhaps because they had, those who claimed to represent each region clung to their authority even more.

“Ha. Your spirit is commendable, but I've heard things are not going well on your end lately… We’ve just had an undersea tunnel suddenly pop up, but hasn’t your entire nation turned into an anthill? We're always ready to help….”

“Nya haha. Thank you for your concern. If we had an extraordinary awakener like Undateikeo, it would have been much easier, nya! Alas, it's just bad luck compared to our neighboring country. How sad, nya!”

Their friendly conversation seemed so entertaining. Even the Chinese awakeners, who had not yet been infected by Inunaki, subtly hinted, ‘Hey, hey? What are you doing? Why are you having fun without us? Can’t we join in? Huh? Let’s play together.’

As both sides’ faces began to sour, I intervened politely.

“The lead in this subjugation will be neither the National Road Management Corps nor the Magical Girl Association. It will be me, Undertaker, personally. I want to invite each of you, awakeners I know personally, to form a temporary party. I would appreciate your attendance, considering our connection.”

“Hmmm….”

“Nyaang.”

This was also in line with the Korean tradition of ‘volunteer soldiers.’ Respecting traditions, my proposal was easily accepted.

Under the premise that participation was voluntary and in an individual capacity, a multinational party was formed. The party members were as follows:

- Korea: Undertaker (Party Leader), Saintess (Secret Participant), Yu Ji-won (Deputy Party Leader)

- Japan: Manyo Neko (Deputy Party Leader), Phantom Blade

Some might think that the team was too small considering the grand plan for a joint Korea-Japan subjugation, but this was more than sufficient.

Frankly, I, the Undertaker, was like a walking army. I only needed talents to cover areas I couldn’t handle alone.

As for the Magical Girl Association, well. Since we said, ‘We can manage with two or three people,’ they could only match that number.

“Excuse me.”

“Nya! Feel free to stay, nya!”

While leading us to a high-end ryokan in Japan, Manyo Neko whispered to me.

“Undateikeo, Undateikeo.”

“Yes?”

“I know that Yu-san is the Operations Chief of the National Road Management Corps, but who is that woman with the blue hair? I've never seen her before, nya….”

The person she pointed at was the Saintess. Even in Korea, only Noh Do-hwa and I knew her true identity, so it was natural for the Magical Girl Association to be clueless.

“She’s my girlfriend.”

“…!”

“We’ve been dating for two months. She insisted on coming along because she was worried about me going to Japan. She’ll stay here until the operation is over, so please take care of her.”

“Wasn't your girlfriend the diva of Samcheon World, nya?”

Damn it. How did that rumor spread across the sea?

“…That’s completely unfounded. She’s my first girlfriend.”

“Ah, I see, nya. My apologies. Among the Magical Girls, a few are from Walpurgis… Anyway! Since she’s your girlfriend, we’ll treat her as a VIP, nya!”

The Saintess tilted her head, confused, as she watched our whispering. She was the only one in our group who didn’t speak Japanese.

After settling into the inn, we began the formal meeting.

“The subjugation will proceed in Japan. However, if this operation is successful, I will expect compensation from the Association.”

“Compensation? What do you mean, nya?”

“A spirit camera.”

“Ah…”

“Specifically, a Polaroid OneStep. The 1977 model.”

“Nya haha, Undateikeo, you’re really fixated on that item, nya?”

Manyo Neko scratched her cheek.

“I’d love to give it to you, but it’s one of the three rare treasures we have, nya… I’ll try to get approval from above, nya.”

As the name ‘Magical Girl Association’ suggests, the hierarchy among Japan’s awakeners was not strict.

Each shrine had a Magical Girl blessed by the gods, and these girls managed their own territories.

Although the Association’s headquarters were located in the Noto Peninsula, it was more nominal compared to the status of the National Road Management Corps in Korea.

In other words, it was more accurate to say, ‘Three Magical Girls who own spirit cameras are members of the Association,’ rather than ‘The Association owns three spirit cameras.’

Unless they were persuaded individually, it was unlikely they’d part with such a rare item.

Knowing the Association’s workings well, I made a difficult request first and then subtly backed off.

“Then, could you at least tell me where the Polaroid camera was initially found?”

“Nya?”

“I’m a huge fan of that item. Please understand my collecting passion. If I can’t get the actual item, I’d like to gather as much information as possible.”

So I could grab it myself in the next cycle.

Manyo Neko’s expression brightened.

“Nyaa! If that’s the case, I’ll make sure to get the information, nya! Leave it to me, nya!”

Although it would typically be confidential, we had declared our intention to exterminate Inunaki in Japan, not Korea.

Sure enough, a few days later, Manyo Neko returned with good news.

“I found out the farming location, nya. And…”

“And?”

“Tadaa-nya!”

Manyo Neko dramatically revealed what she had hidden behind her.

“Gasp.”

It was a camera. A Polaroid OneStep (Land Camera 1000) released in 1977.

It was the item I had been eyeing for dozens of cycles, now in the hands of the cat Magical Girl.

It was the same camera that would later prove useful when Sim Ah-ryeon and I went on a vacation to the Tower of Sauron.

My eyes widened.

“No way, Manyo Neko, you…”

“Nya haha. Even though the Undertaker came to our country with his girlfriend and confidant, it wouldn’t be right to just tell you the farming location and leave it at that. So… Ahem. The owner agreed to give up the camera under the condition that we exterminate Inunaki Tunnel, nya!”

“Manyo Neko. We’re friends now.”

“Yay! Tomodachi, nya!”

We high-fived.

The morale of the subjugation team was at its peak.

The Saintess stayed at the inn while Yu Ji-won, Manyo Neko, Phantom Blade, and I set out—the first official joint operation party of Korea and Japan.

Upon arrival at the destination, the two local Magical Girls stepped onto a podium (rock).

“Nyaang! Thank you for deciding to help with this subjugation, nya!”

“……”

Manyo Neko pointed with her umbrella. There lay Inunaki Tunnel.

The entrance was about 90% blocked by a stone wall, covered in all sorts of colorful graffiti and scribbles.

“This place was originally the Soroji Tunnel, nya. But as you can see, it’s been infected by Inunaki, nya!”

“……”

“Since it wasn’t a busy path, we just left it alone, thinking people could take a detour. Nya haha. Actually, the god I serve resides in a shrine nearby, so it’s been bothering me nya.”

With a flourish, Manyo Neko opened her umbrella.

The umbrella was strange. The outside was painted gold, but the inside was black, like a night sky dotted with stars.

It wasn’t just a fashion item; it was Manyo Neko’s sacred artifact. All Magical Girls had such treasures.

“Thanks to Undateikeo and the Korean awakeners, we can challenge the surgery to remove this tumor from our land again, nya! Let’s do our best, nya!”

“…! …!”

“We also look forward to working with you. Although we haven't been working together for long, misunderstandings may arise. In such cases, please stay calm and we will explain. I hope you will also understand.”

“Of course, nya!”

“…! …!”

At that moment, Yu Ji-won, who had been quietly holding her trunk bag next to me, raised her hand. By the way, Yu Ji-won was also fluent in Japanese.

“I have a question.”

“Nya?”

“Why does the awakener next to you keep saying ‘…! …!’ without making any sound? Is she mute?”

Our eyes turned to the person next to Manyo Neko.

There stood a lone figure, trying hard to make their presence known, unable to join our conversation.

Indeed, all the ‘…’ dialogues in the conversation represented this mute Magical Girl’s attempts to express herself.

For the record, this Magical Girl was not only mute but also had no arms. If there was a god in heaven, it was good evidence that the deity was a sadist who found pleasure in torturing humans.

“Ah. Phantom Blade, did you forget to use the telepathy spell? We can’t hear anything, nya.”

“…!”

At Manyo Neko’s remark, the mute, armless Magical Girl jumped. Then a voice started to echo in our minds.

[Oh my, I’m so sorry. Undateikeo-san, Yu-san. I mistakenly thought I was already sending telepathic messages? Haha, I thought you were deliberately ignoring me. How foolish of me.]

Her way of speaking was archaic and didn’t match her cute appearance at all.

Phantom Blade.

The ‘Armless Swordswoman,’ literally.

I was used to her manner of speaking. Keen readers might recall that Manyo Neko and Phantom Blade were the Magical Girls who fought alongside me against UFO aliens in the 99th run.

They were the Japanese awakeners I trusted the most.

“Hmmm…”

On the other hand, Yu Ji-won seemed to see the Magical Girls as a bunch of crazy lunatics. Her expression was peculiar.

It was an undeniable fact.

Yu Ji-won whispered in Korean.

“Your Excellency. Why do all the magic-type awakeners have mental issues? Witch Cosplayer Dang Seo-rin, School Uniform Cosplayer Cheon Yo-hwa, and now Magical Girls? Even the awakeners from the neighboring country are a mess.”

“Indeed… I didn't realize [Mini-map] was a magic-type ability.”

“…?”

I looked around.

“Alright. Although we are only four, each of us is a hundred warriors strong. Today, the deepest known void in Japan will be exterminated. Manyo Neko, are you ready?”

“Nyaang! From today, Inunaki Tunnel will be renamed Nekonaki Tunnel, nya!”

“Phantom Blade?”

[Yes! The Magical Girl Association has attempted the Inunaki subjugation four times before, and all the data is stored in my head. We are fully prepared!]

“Yu Ji-won.”

“I will follow your orders, Your Excellency.”

I glanced at the sky. As if on cue, the Saintess’s voice echoed.

[I’m ready, Mr. Undertaker.]

Perfect.

Rarely did I feel so confident before tackling an anomaly. We moved forward with a very positive atmosphere.

‘I have a good feeling.’

We boldly broke down the stone wall at the entrance and entered the tunnel. The tunnel’s comforting darkness enveloped the four of us.

 66 minutes later.

The joint Korea-Japan awakened party was annihilated like dogs.

Again.

The 142nd run.

“Nyaang! From today, Inunaki Tunnel will be renamed Nekonaki Tunnel, nya!”

“Good spirit. Excellent. But before that, we need to check something first.”

“…Nyaa?”

I made a serious face in response to the party member’s cry to boost morale, lowering the surrounding temperature by about one degree.

Of course, I didn’t suddenly awaken to a temperature manipulation ability. Literally, the temperature around the entrance of Inunaki Tunnel was dropping in real time.

“That damn anomaly has already noticed our approach. Manyo Neko, did you bring the spirit camera?”

“Nya? I did bring it…”

“Take it out and take a picture.”

“…Got it, leader.”

Sensing the shift in my demeanor, Manyo Neko’s face also turned serious. Without a word, she took out the camera from her backpack.

Yu Ji-won, familiar with my attitude, remained expressionless. Phantom Blade stayed calm.

Manyo Neko carefully lifted the spirit camera, one of the only three in Japan, with one hand.

“Where should I take the picture, nya?”

“The tunnel entrance. Include the surrounding scenery in the shot.”

“Roger, nya.”

Click-

The flash went off. The instant camera soon printed a film with a faint whirring sound.

The five of us—Yu Ji-won, Manyo Neko, Phantom Blade, the Saintess (who wasn’t physically present), and I—looked down at the photo.

Phantom Blade’s expression hardened.

[This is…]

In the spirit photo.

Bodies were nailed to the cedar trees lining the tunnel, like columns of a temple. The bodies wore elaborate costumes, decorated with frills and ornaments, which would be quite burdensome for ordinary people.

They were the bodies of Magical Girls.

“Do you recognize them?”

[…Yes. Although the photo quality isn’t great, judging by the costumes, they appear to be colleagues who went missing in previous subjugation attempts. Some of them I haven't seen in seven years.]

Just as I thought.

I maintained a calm expression. The leader of the subjugation team had to remain steadfast.

The question was asked by a team member instead of me.

“What the heck, nya? How…?”

“It’s a provocation. As I said, that anomaly has already noticed our approach. It’s challenging us to come closer.”

“But… That makes no sense. Neither I nor Phantom Blade are weak in spiritual power. How could we not notice anything until we took the picture…?”

[Wait a moment.]

We turned our heads.

Phantom Blade was staring at one corner of the faint instant photo.

[Look at these bodies. The ones hanging next to the stone wall.]

“Nyaang?”

[Although it’s blurry… Don’t they look like us?]

“……”

The sound of cicadas filled the air.

The Japanese called this sound ‘kanakana’ (カナカナ). But like all languages, it was a unique sound that couldn’t be fully captured in writing, a wheezing that couldn’t be called a cry. The sound echoed from the cedar forest surrounding us.

“Take another picture, Manyo Neko. This time, focus on the stone wall.”

“Got it, nya.”

Click.

The flash went off.

At that moment, the sound of cicadas stopped throughout the forest. It might sound strange, but it felt like thousands of insects were staring at us all at once.

Bzzzz—

The Polaroid camera slowly printed the photo with a bit too much noise.

We looked at the photo again.

“……”

The bodies in the photo had become lighter.

They were the same as in the first photo but now hanging from the cedar trees without heads and arms.

No, upon closer inspection, there was another change.

On the stone wall at the tunnel entrance, covered in various scribbles and graffiti, a bright red word that hadn’t been there in the previous photo was now visible.

-Welcome back (おかえり).

Footnotes:

Manyo Neko basically means Eternal Cat in japanese.

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