Ihoujin, Dungeon ni Moguru

Chapter 86: The Time of Reunion, Comes II

I slept soundly. It appeared that I was quite exhausted after that big fight.

I woke up to find Maria hugging my arm.

『Your hygiene level has dropped. You should go wash up. Now, immediately』

With gentle movements, Tortch separated Maria from me and held her like a baby.

「Is there a bath here?」

『At the end of this passageway, there is a flowing river』

He pointed to one of the passageways leading away from the open space with his finger.

「Won’t it be frozen?」

『If it is, you can just break the ice』

「………………」

I was thrown a tattered towel and soap.

The river wasn't frozen, but it was cold enough to freeze a person to death.

I made one disturbing discovery. Lola's cloak, which had been damaged in some places during last night's battle, had repaired itself.

I hate to think it, but is this thing alive? No, first of all, I wonder what the heck I'm doing wearing His Majesty's ancestor. It's a bit psychopathic.

Yeah, I’ll take this to the grave.

I've got yet another secret that I can't tell people about.

Like Agathion or Zamonglass' sword. Why is it that I'm surrounded by items that I cannot brag to anyone about? Is this also because of my god's grace? Probably………

I washed off the blood and sweat with stinging cold water and soap.

Spying a winged rabbit, I took it down with Agathion.

I skinned and bled it the way my sister taught me.

After wiping myself off, I returned to the cathedral and got ready to make breakfast.

After adding some firewood to the remains of last night's fire, I started a fire using a twig meant for that purpose.

「I'll make breakfast. Where's the food?」

『In that crate over there』

Tortch pointed to a supplies crate.

『Are you a cook?』

「No. The one who’s a cook is………huh? Who was it again?」

『The meaning of your question is unclear』

「That’s……weird……」

I was seized by an intense sense of anxiety. A feeling of emptiness, like a piece of my mind had been secretly taken away. As if a support that had been holding me up had snapped, or had been stolen.

…………What is this feeling?

Nothing comes to mind even when I think about it.

The very doubts that I hold about what I'm wondering about slips away from my mind, leaving only that nagging feeling.

It’s no use.

I can't think of anything. No, have I forgotten it? I feel something blank, but I have no idea what it is. Not even a little bit.

「Well………………forget it」

At times like this, it’s best to keep busy.

Thinking about it won't accomplish anything, so I won't think about it. For now, that'll do. It'll be fine. It should.

「What about cookware?」

『They're in the crate over there. The crate on the right contains food. There is no problem with hygiene』

「Hey, aren't these practically brand new?」

The cutting board and knives didn't look like they had ever been used.

『There was a military cook with us, but he was the first to commit suicide. Although he was one of the few people who weren't exposed to radiation, I believe he fell into depression over his differing perception of the information as well as seeing what happened to those who were exposed. The soldiers were served canned food』

「That’s quite…..」

For some reason, I put my palms together before the cookware.

「Sorry, I have a quick question. Is there any radioactive contamination in the supplies here?」

『No. The nuclear testing exercises were conducted only on the soldiers. It was their understanding that there would be no effects from the radiation if they cleaned everything thoroughly. Besides, I wouldn't keep contaminated supplies near my daughter. I wouldn't let her eat them』

「Understood」

It had been a foolish thought.

「For that matter, what have you been feeding Maria?」

I picked through the food supplies beside me.

Basically, there’s a lot of canned food. Beans, soup, cornstarch, macaroni, honey, mustard, tomato sauce, ketchup as well as salt and pepper. …………Oh, and bottled cola. Powdered eggs, dried cheese, chocolate bars, chocolate candy, et cetera, et cetera, and finally, spam. A literal mountain of spam.

『Maria's favorite is soup that I've heated up』

「Oh, okay」

I shouldn't pry too deeply into the food served at other people's dining tables.

「Hey, they're way past the expiration date, you know?」

By more than half a century.

『According to my measuring instruments, there is no bacterial growth, so there is no problem』

I tried to remove the metal cap of the cola using Agathion, but that didn't go so well.

Tortch stuck out his little finger. A bottle opener extended out of it. I removed the cap of the bottled cola like how they did it in old movies. The cap went into his finger.

I took my first sip of cola in a long time.

The sweetness and the refreshing sensation of its fizzy flavor moistened my throat.

Ahh, it’s the taste of Earth. [1]

Now, let’s make breakfast.

Placing the rabbit on the brand new cutting board, I took a brand new kitchen knife in hand.

First, the prep. I cut off its head, limbs and wings, removed its internal organs, and after I had pounded the meat with the back of the knife, I cut the bones and meat apart into rough pieces. After rubbing the meat with salt and pepper, I left it to sit for a while.

I put the rabbit's ribs, limbs, wings and fat into a pot that I had filled with water, and had Tortch hold it over the fire.

Next, I made a simple seasoning by mixing together equal amounts of honey and mustard.

I fished through the canned food.

I took cans of consomme, beans, and………spam.

If I try my hardest, I should be able to make it taste good. It's not good to be picky with food.

『Maria hates beans』

「I see」

Alright, I'll put them in.

While removing the scum from the pot from time to time, I mashed the canned beans.

Children will eat even the things they hate if you mislead them by changing how the food looks. My sister, who hates green peppers, eats them when I stuff them with meat.

I sliced the spam into thin strips.

I hate this thing.

Why does it look like solidified slime? Is it actually a liquid? Even though it's meat……… I mean, if I had pork, there would have been no need for you! Don't get cocky! Shove off to Okinawa! Aloha your way to Hawaii! I'll teleport you to a world without pigs! Fakku!

………………I calmed down.

About 30 minutes passed as I watched the pot while scraping the meat off the bones and removing the scum.

I checked the broth by taste-testing it.

Alright.

I removed the bones and the unneeded items. Then I added the consomme, mashed beans, and the detestable sliced up failure of pork meat. After some stirring, it was completed. The crappy pork had became softer after being simmered for a while.

I dropped some butter into a frying pan and stir-fried the rabbit meat. I added the honey mustard that I had mixed earlier. It gave off a stimulating smell.

「Hnn～」

Maria woke up.

『Good morning, Maria』

「Good morning, Daddy」

『It’s time to wash your face』

「Leave the pot!」

I stopped Tortch, who was about to leave while still holding the pot.

I stir-fried the meat and drained it of its juices until it was well-cooked. As I taste-tested it, I added salt.

Completed.

Using the crates, I set up a table and chairs, and then covered them with cloth to make them look more presentable.

I plated the food in brand new plates and bowls, and laid them out on the table.

For today’s meal,

Rabbit consomme broth with beans and detestable pork,

And rabbit meat stir-fried with honey mustard.

It's a breakfast with a score of about 65 points. Makina would probably snigger at me.

「Wow!」

Maria came trotting over.

「What’s this?! What’s this?!」

She had both hands on the table and was bouncing on her feet.

She kneed the piece of scrap, who had arrived later, and began whispering to him.

「You've not let Maria have normal meals? I'm sure that they serve better meals even in King Robbs’ army」

『Because of the risk of being poisoned, she isn't allowed to eat food from anywhere else』

「Then it's no wonder she thinks that salmiak licorice is delicious」

『I’ve taken into account the nutritional balance』

「Delicious food enriches the soul」

『There is data that shows that armies are stronger when the meals taste bad』

「That's just an excuse by those whose food tastes bad」

『American meals are number one in the world, in portion size』

「Japanese meals are number one in the world, in healthiness」

『Are you taking about meals where fish is eaten raw and everything is seasoned with fermented soybeans?』

「Life expectancy is higher in my country than in yours」

『There's a problem with how relevant those numbers are. Data from small countries is of no use at all』

「Aren't you originally from the alternate world?」

『Even now, 15% of my heart is devoted to the United States』

「Your love for your country sure is subtle」

『Love is something that fluctuates with time and experience』

「What a load of nonsense」

「Souya! Hurry up! It's getting cold! It's going to become cold!」

Already seated at the table, Maria hurried us.

「Alright, alright」

I took a seat at the table too.

Seeing her act like this, she feels more like a child than a wife.

「Here, Tortch」

I offered him a cup.

『What is this?』

「Sugared water. My A.I.s drink this. Don't you?」

『It isn't yet necessary to provide sustenance for the aqueous brain』

「Unless you don't need it at all, drink it. Families are supposed to eat together」

『Duly noted』

「What a Dasai(lame/uncool) reply」

『Question. What does “Dasai” mean?』

「I'll tell you if you change your voice to Tessho Genda’s」[2]

『Question. Who is Tessho Gen――』

「Food!」

Maria cut us off in anger.

『Maria, let’s say grace befo――』

「It's! Already! Cold! Dear Lord――」

「Itadakimasu」

I brought my palms together, and quickly started eating as the food was getting cold. Just when I was about to take a scoop of the soup with a spoon,

Maria stared at me for some reason.

「Daddy, can I do it like that too?」

『The Japanese pre-meal prayer doesn't show enough appreciation for the Lord――』

「Our prayer shows our appreciation for everything involved with the food, including the gods」

「Itadakimasu!」

Immediately after saying that, Maria started to guzzle the soup down with a spoon. What bad table manners.

『It can't be helped. Itadakimasu』

The armor of Tortch's pod slid back, revealing the container holding his aqueous brain.

Like Makina, he extended a straw out and began sipping the sugared water.

I also tried a spoonful of the soup, which had become a bit lukewarm. It was tasty, but not as salty as I expected. Oh, but after chewing some spam together with the beans, the saltiness was just right.

Next, I tried the honey mustard rabbit meat as well.

Oh, it tastes good.

The acidity and the spiciness of the mustard hit first, then as I chewed, the sweetness of honey and the taste of meat spread inside my mouth.

This is a taste that Ea will definitely love. I'll bring home some mustard as a souvenir. Not that I have any idea when I’ll be able to make it back though.

Maria had stuffed her mouth with so much rabbit meat that her cheeks were puffed out like a squirrel’s.

「～～～!」

Oh, she's choking a little.

I poured a glass of cola and handed it to her. She chugged it down in one gulp, coughing violently due to its fizziness. Tears filled her eyes.

「It's fizzy, spicy and sweet. It's a grown-up's taste(acquired taste), huh!」

「That’s true」

Choking from stuffing too much food into the mouth is something children do though.

「Do you want my share of the meat?」

「Yes!」

She seemed to enjoy eating it, so I gave it to her. I didn't have much of an appetite.

After gobbling up all the rabbit meat by herself and downing several more bowls of soup, Maria rubbed her stomach contentedly.

「Maria, you say “Gochiso-sama(Thank you for the meal)” when you’re done with the meal」

「Okay, Gochiso-sama」

「Good, Osomatsu-sama(Think nothing of it)」

Maria said with her hands properly pressed together.

「Wow~, marriage sure is yummy」

There’s not a drop of the soup left. Where does it all go in that skinny, child-like body? It's good for children to eat a lot though.

I collected the bowls and plates, and then headed for the river to wash them. Maria had laid down in Tortch's arms.

I thought about various things while washing the dishes in the cold water.

First, what should I make for lunch?

I want to put away some of the copious amounts of spam. I can cut them into sticks, coat them with cornstarch and powdered eggs, and then fry them. It's like making American-dogs[3] with spam.

Will this irony be lost on Tortch, I wonder? It’s called by a different name outside of Japan though.

And then, there's the talk of war and the topic of whether or not I should explore the dungeon.

We've played family for a bit, but something like this isn't enough to make me develop an emotional attachment to them.

What's important to me is Rana. As well as Ea and Lanseal. Shuna and Bel.

There is only one of me. And I already have five people whom I'm trying to protect. It already sounds impossible as it is, but if I take this on, I'll end up being unable to protect any one thing.

I believe that how little I think of myself is both my strength and my weakness.

Reckless acts akin to flying closer to the sun are things that I would never――――I did one last night. I did, didn’t I? In all likelihood, if I were to explain it to my sister, I think she would give me a punch with a run-up.

Not just against the beast. I dared battle-hardened warriors to fight me.

That's not good.

Though I was swept up by the heat of the moment, that’s not good.

Though it was for His Majesty’s sake, that’s not good.

I need to reflect on this. I'll change for the better. Supposing I was to do it again, I'd have to make it so that I would be able to win more easily.

Alright, reflection over.

I won't act recklessly anymore. Even if I were to act recklessly, it would be for the sake of those girls, and for the sake of returning to the right continent. Only then.

When I returned to the cathedral, Maria was being cuddled and pampered like a baby by Tortch.

『Souya, I have something to say about our talk from last night』

「Me too」

『I only ask one thing of you. Explore the dungeon』

「I don't want to. There is no longer any benefit for me in exploring the dungeon. There are only downsides. I can't risk my life for something so pointless」

There's nothing in there that gets me fired up.

『You’re full of contradictions. When it come to risking your life, you willingly did that by yourself last night』

「Daddy, you’re mistaken」

Maria came to my defense.

The expression on her face was not that of a child, but of a ruler.

「Souya risked his life for the sake of loyalty」

『For King Dainsleif? I find it hard to believe that loyalty can develop in just a few days』

「It's loyalty to his own desires. His desires that make him go crazy for those who fit his creed, his beliefs, his passion, his pride, and his preferences. It’s a warped view on life and death, one that’s vastly different from chivalry.

I'm afraid that he’s completely indifferent to things like honor and money.

He speaks like a person with an insignificant and conventional set of values, but the truth is that he doesn't care about such things. When he thinks, "I want to risk my life for this” or “I want to die here", he will fight. He will lay down his life with ease.

Souya, “at your core, you're warped”.

More than any of the savages on this continent, you have a madness inside you that's beyond redemption.

The beasts of abominable blood are masses of curses. And curses are emotions.

The ones who break them, who defeat them are people who have amassed the envy and fame of those who are commonly referred to as heroes. People who aren't like that cannot defeat beasts. Those who are mad are swallowed up by the beasts. Those who are sane do not have what it takes. They trample on the pride of ordinary men.

Souya, you’re no hero. A hero doesn’t harbor such a gloomy thing. However, a mere vassal of a hero has accomplished a feat greater than that of heroes. Despite being a man filled with madness.

Tortch, let me teach you one thing. Contradiction and madness may look similar, but they're decidedly different.

Souya, tell me the truth. You don't actually care about what happens to those women, do you?」

「You're wrong. I love Rana」

This much is certain.

That's why I have no interest in the trivial depths of darkness.

「No, I'm not wrong. I'm not mistaken. I know people like you. They are people who, even after a thousand years, still carry foolishness in their blood. That's why I took you as my husband. You're the perfect partner for someone who wants to destroy the world」

You're definitely wrong.

Even if it's true, so long as I think that you're wrong, then you're wrong. I'll deny it.

Maria is similar, but completely different from Misuranika-sama. Misuranika-sama would never talk about destroying the world with a maniacal look on her face. She would mutter it with a sad face.

Also, there's one thing that bothers me.

「Maria, you don't care whether I explore the dungeon or not, do you?」

「………………Ah」

It appears that she had completely forgotten about that.

『Maria, just like your happiness, the secret of the 56th floor of the dungeon is my "dearest wish". Please persuade Souya』

「Souya, you should explore the dungeon」

「I don't want to. I'll divorce you, you know?」

「Ummmmmm~」

Maria had her head in her hands.

「Well, if you do it, I'll………give birth to your child」

Sorry, I've completely come to see you as a child, so I don't have any feelings of lust for you.

For now.

「If I go into the dungeon, I might die, you know?」

「That's troubling. That's very troubling for me」

「I mean, I'm the bottom of the barrel when it comes to adventurers. I can't fight like I did when I fought the beast, you see? I'm totally out of my element inside the dungeon」

「Then, I'll bring you back above ground whenever you're in danger」

『Maria, you mustn't do that. Your simple portal cannot be used inside the dungeon. There will be interference in places where there are other portals. There are unforeseeable risks involved』

「Eeeehhh~」

Maria raised her voice in disappointment.

「In that case, it's alright for me to not explore the dungeon, right?」

I said, with a wide smile.

Now, all that remains is for me to use these guys to get back to the right continent somehow. As long as I'm Maria's husband, His Majesty will be protected. In the first place, His Majesty is renowned among the Myriad Kings. He shouldn't be treated poorly even in the new Vindoobunikuru army.

『Wait, I have a question』

「What is it?」

Tortch doggedly stated his case.

『You deactivated the Makina Unit. Why?』

「That's because I was planning to quit as an adventurer and run away from that continent. If I left the unit running, there's a possibility that someone would abuse them. If I left it unattended, the company might have interfered from their end as well」

『Why didn't you destroy the unit? When I took control, I learned that the structure of the Makina Unit was deliberately designed to be vulnerable. It can be easily destroyed by as little as an arrow or a stab from a spear』

He had hit upon a sore spot.

「Th, that's because they're what you would call comrades in arms. I was able to put them to sleep, but there’s no way I could kill them」

『I see, you feel the same way as the Captain did』

「Hmm?」

『The Captain also decided that it would be better for me to die peacefully in my sleep than to perish here all alone. It was done out of consideration for me. Souya, I fear that you’re probably unaware of this. A time bomb has been built into the Makina Unit. It's been set by the company to go off after a period of one year』

「Huh?」

It's information that came out of nowhere, but something does come to mind.

The self-destruct mechanisms that were installed in the containers. They were improvised and could be removed, but I wouldn't be surprised if something similar was built into Makina.

The president had warned me over and over again to not give away technological singularities.

There's no way he didn't put in countermeasures to prevent it.

『Design-wise, it isn't a part that can be removed』

「B, but that has nothing to do with my adventuring」

『I can disarm it. If you explore the dungeon, that is』

「………Urgh」

So this is how he's going to play it.

『Putting together what Maria said, you think little of yourself, but you care for your comrades. You aren't willing to fight for your own gain, but you can fight for the benefit of others. Am I wrong?』

「Are you telling me to obey an A.I. in order to save A.I.s?」

『I am. I want to uncover the secret of the 56th floor and regain my original form. That’s what I wish』

「Your original form………」

The A.I.s' form before they went to the modern world.

Makina, Izora, and Yukikaze are liquids encased inside containers, but that isn't their true form. The same is true for the multitude of A.I.s that exist in the modern world.

『We, too, are warped. I want to regain my true form and, instead of a metal body, I want to embrace Maria with a body of flesh and blood. For that, I want you to explore the dungeon』

「………………」

This guy, he's appealing to my emotions this time. I'm wavering a little though.

Is it alright for me to decide?

Exploring the dungeon is not something I can do alone.

I’ve no problems with wagering my own life, but I would need to risk the lives of everyone else.

Will this help me to face the threat of that gloomy darkness again? Can I continue to fight even if I lose someone, like Otou-san? Can I get over the death of others, like the other adventurers? I don't know. I really don't know.

I can't answer because the pain of losing Irvin still lingers.

But if I don't take this on, it would mean leaving Makina and Yukikaze to die.

In order to save my comrades, I risk the lives of my party members.

What an ironic contradiction.

It's heavy. It's far too weighty a wager for me. I can't make this decision alone.

「I――」

『Wait a moment』

My agonizing words were cut off by Tortch.

『Maria, there's an urgent communication from Dugan. I'm putting him through』

Laced with static, Dugan's voice came through Tortch's speakers.

『――ear me? Can you hear me? Maria, Tortch?』

「Yes, I can hear you」

Maria answered.

『Souya is with you, right? Send him to Ashtalia! Right away! The royal castle is under attack!』

[1] This is most likely referencing Coca-Cola’s “Ahh” ad campaign that it launched in 2013.

[2] Tesshō Genda is a legendary-tier voice actor who has been voicing roles since the 1970s. One of the 400+ roles he has voiced is Kurama(Nine-tails) from Naruto. His deep solemn voice is incredibly iconic and has amazing gravitas.

[3] Only in Japan. Like their “Nice-Stick”, which is a long loaf of bread with margarine, “American-dog” is their name for corn dogs. I’m guessing it’s a variation of hot dog, which is what corn dogs are made from…

What?! Who could be attacking Ashtalia now?! …Is what I would normally say, but that cliff-hanger is just a distraction to steer readers away. From how important this chapter is. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. More reveals?! Yeah, reveals come in bunches for this author.

I’ve been bringing up the abnormalities in Souya’s personality, but this is the first time the author has sorta forced readers to take a closer look at them. If you doubt for a second that Maria is wrong about him, look at how he denies her in his head. It’s almost exactly the same kind of thoughts as when he is insisting that Irvin met an admirable end. That as long as he keeps saying something is true, even if it’s a lie, that’s the truth to him. Those are the words of someone trying to convince himself of something he knows isn’t true, don’t you think? Yes, he is convincing himself that he cares for Rana, but what’s really the truth? And you thought that the revelation of the way Rana thought in the first half was big? Btw, both times Souya talks about “darkness” in this chapter, on the surface, it refers to the dungeon, but…note how deliberately vague those parts are written(this is something you’ll only understand much later on re-reads or something).

I’ll hint that the truth behind Souya’s personality is simple enough to be summed up in one word, yet complex enough that I anticipate that I’ll need to write a long essay to explain it when the complete reveal comes much much later. And this is the key chapter where, for the first time, you have all the hints that you need to solve the puzzle, though it isn’t easy to make the connection. Worry not if you don’t get it right now though, author will continue to give increasingly obvious hints periodically until the reveal, just like how she does for everything.

And of course, who Souya has forgotten has finally been revealed. And considering what that person had done to help Souya… I mean, Souya is suicidal enough even with his attempts to give him reasons to live, what will happen now that he no longer has those teachings to support him?

And, after all that, we go back to Ashtalia being attacked. Who could it be? Elysium? Stay tuned to find out!